Parents

We have the parents-in-law staying at the moment. They arrived about a week ago, and the positive and happy atmosphere lasted exactly four nights this time. I think that is better than last time.

Hublet and I decided to make a conscious decision to make an effort and avoid conversations that lead down that slippery and depressing slope of doom namely pol tics and immigration. The sure fire way to know when the ugly beast is about to rear it's nasty head is when we get a 'well, I was reading in the Daily Telegraph...' and a little 'shoot me now' voice screams in my head.

OK, we all know that as people get older they become more set in their ways and opinionated, but the hublet's dad especially takes this to a new level. I noticed that by Sunday night the negativity and sarcasm was back, the superior arrogance was back on display... and well, it gets boring doesn't it? Especially when you know that's it back, and they have another week being with us. It's a shame, because hublet's in a really bad place at the moment and potentially, though hopefully not, up for losing his job in the upcoming cuts.

Monday night I was out with work, and hublet took them out for dinner. You can tell he probably got the usual battering, and came back deflated. Last night when the conversation started on one of those 'remember when' this or that happened, and then about how naughty, horrible and all the other negative stuff he was a kid (I honestly don't believe a word of it, the more I know both sides of the family) I just got up and left the table. Went and watched telly on my own.

My thing is they, and especially the dad, seem to revel in putting the hublet down, and when things don't seem to be going right (banking sector right now) it feels like schadenfreude on his part, he enjoys the fact that hublet's having a hard time. I think it's jealousy, but in any case it serves no healthy purpose especially when they bring up stuff in the past that they weren't happy about it. Get over it! Jeee-sus.

I walked past the balcony last night while the three of them were out there chatting, and it kills me to see hublet, shoulders slumped, listening to their 'advice'. Hublet's siblings are fine, in one way or another they depend on their parents and I guess that this makes them closer. However, between the two of us we just depend on each other and I think that irks his parents. We're doing fine, we get on with whatever life throws us and we honestly don't need anyone's advice.

If you haven't got anything nice to say, seriously don't bother saying it.

Hublet, on the surface, has the patience of a saint. He takes it all, but inside he is simmering. He's in a place I can't reach him at the moment, and I know it's the stress from all the uncertainty at work, so the last thing he needs is a little chisel tap tap tapping away.

Le Crunch

Oh god, it had to be written about. Here was me thinking the credit crunch would just be a passing phase, like everyone would get bored after a couple of weeks and the markets would bounce back after various governments putting in stakes to plump things up a bit. But oh no, it's still here and still as dull as ever.

My Top Ten of what I am doing to avoid spending cash.

1. Bought a Missoni rug direct from New York which was on sale in Lane Crawford for $54,000 HKD for half that price. Very proud of that saving. I joked that we would be like bankrupt aristocrats with our faded heirlooms in a few years.

2. Ordered silk curtains for the living room that are decorative, i.e. they don't meet in the middle and therefore aren't really curtains at all. Less silk, you see?

3. Started buying bottles of Pol Gesner Champagne at $100 a bottle less than our usual tipple, then realised actually life is too short for such compromises! Now we look for the decently-priced favourites (Deutz is the current bottle du jour). Limit ourselves to the weekend.

4. Have been using up all the dregs and bottles of cosmetics that have been hiding in various cupboards and make up bags in the apartment. Lots of samples and miniatures from the various business class flights I have taken over the years, gifts I have received over the years and crap I bought on a whim is all being drained and slapped on. Amazing how much you can accumulate over the years, and I haven't bough cosmetics in months.

5. Avoiding all clothes shops, especially for the kids. So easy to spuff $1000 in a lunchtime on a couple of cute dresses.

6. Ensuring that any cheques lying around are cashed, and any out of date ones (there were a few) are re-issued and banked.

7. Starting to buy supermarket own brands for staples such as olive oil or anything I don't eat. There are things you should never compromise on living in Hong Kong such as milk (Australia), eggs (New Zealand, organic) meat and fish (Aus or NZ) fruit and veg (never local, and organic where possible), but on other purchases a keen eye can net significant savings.

8. Haven't replaced my $6000 camera which broke during the move. Missing it badly and am wondering how long I can hold out though.

9. Still haven't upgraded the surround sound for the TV room to the Bose one we were on the verge of buying. Considering it as a birthday present if the hublet keeps his job.

10. Ordering rose wine, which I actually really like, at $49 a bottle, as our staple rather than the $100 bottles of red which we usually drink during the week.

Things not to cut back on, unless things get much worse:

1. The weekend Champagne. I'll be like the Captain of a ship and go down drinking it.

2. Quality meat, fish, fruit and vegetables.

3. Tipping taxi drivers and waiters. They need it more than ever, and to scrimp on this is very bad karma.

4. Having a good night out. Do it less, but do it to the max. Had a fab night at Zuma followed by Veuve at the Captain's Bar at the Mandarin on Saturday night. The live band were amazing, the place was packed to the rafters and whatever it cost was worth every single penny.

Contents of my bag

Proof that I am a complete mess

 

Blackberry

2 fake Omega Seamaster watches for my Dad

Passport

3 hairbands

Pink Barbie dress

Panadol Actifast

2 boarding passes for HKG/Tokyo and a lounge pass

Tax Bill 2008

Various receipts of varying ages and amounts

Business cards

Celine Certificate of Authenticity

Tiffany gift card

Keys

2 RSA tokens

Security Badge for work

Narita Airport Limo schedule

Bill from Nuala's school

Nuala's dental appt card

Tissues

Free hair product samples

Voucher for Elemis Day Spa and Happy Feet

Plastic cutlery

Purse

Nuala's 2007 school bus badge

Nuala's school address written in Chinese

Ink pen without a lid

iPhone earphones (no iPhone)

 

Jesus... how do I get in such a state?!

 

What a difference a year makes

Exactly a year ago I was up at the Matilda preparing (screaming) to push him out sans the effects of the epidural. Yikes! I remember it like it were yesterday. He is a fine wee boy and I am so proud. Good on me, good on the most handsome little boy in the world.

Happy Birthday just after midnight baby. You are still by far the most handsome and sweetest boy I have ever met, just like Daddy.


Xxxx

Long time no post

Have been really debating as to what to use this blog for. Should it be an online diary? Seems kind of an odd thing to do as my plan is not to attract readers... and yet even though I don't want it to seem like I am moaning all the time I need a place to vent, whether it be good or bad. I wrote a diary for years when I was in my twenties and it really helped me sort my head out from time to time. I feel like I need that today.

Work's hard at the moment. I am back doing my old job and I just am finding it difficult to muster up passion for the same thing as I was doing 3 years ago. Everything annoys me and directly managing individuals is a bit of a thankless and unrewarding task at the moment. Ever the optimist I keep thinking things will improve but it's like wading through treacle.

Home life is OK, I am tired but the kids and hubby are great. Have my parents staying at the moment, and things are really strained between my dad and I which is causing a real heaviness about me today. He's the most selfish person I know by a long shot and thinks the world revolves around him. I am just sick of it, he really drags me down.

This isn't doing the trick, in fact it's making me feel worse so I think I will go and get a coffee instead. If I smoked, I'd be going for a ciggie. If I wasn't desperate to shed my baby fat I'd have something nice and sweet. A glass of Champagne with my beloved would do the trick!

To work or not to work...

Interesting article again in The Times on the working mummy debate, it actually made me feel a bit better about what I am doing. Yes, I miss the kids like mad mad mad and am gutted every morning when I leave, and the nanny is a poor imitation of what mummy could be doing but the key is for me to be happy with my work because I agree with a lot of what the article says.

So I am now starting to turn myself around at work and make efforts for it to be a job I enjoy. I am leaving every night at 5pm (I get in early) and when I get home work is parked. I would like to work from home now and again, and I need to push that.

Anyway, good article.

Moving down...

We have to move at the end of August. Our landlord has hiked up our rent and it just doesn't make any financial sense to stay. When you are renting it really is money down the drain, and paying 30% more to live in the same place just makes no sense at all. We've been here three years with incremental rent increases, and now he's looking for full-on market rate. Down with greedy landlords- boo!

Anyway, we managed to find a bigger apartment for less money, which is great. Unfortunately in terms of location, facilities (there are none) and the building itself I am a bit underwhelmed. First impressions were 'this is fine, it makes sense' but subsequent visits are like 'my god, do I really have to live here?!'. We visited last Saturday and all the ex-tenant's furniture had been moved out so it looked a bit bare, scruffy and depressing. There was a massive dead cockroach in the communal stairwell, and it's still there today, Wednesday. And the whole building smells of overcooked vegetables. Still, I remain positive because like I said, when you are renting it's stupid and vain to pay more than you want to... though having more money to spend would obviously be very nice indeed!